Posted by
GunnyG© on Monday, September 14, 2009 6:27:02 AM
Ali Obama and his 40 thieves, or is it 33 now, or maybe 35 (who can keep up with all of the shifty goings-on in this socialist regime) has set new records for stealing from the producers and giving to the parasites than at any of our time since 1789! That’s not the hand of your significant other roaming around your pockets for loose change, that’s Ali Obama and his many thieves pilfering your ducats. In fact, in the month of August along, Ali and his cohorts managed to increase our debt by 110 BILLION dollars, thus stealing more from the people by forcing an increase in taxes on the people.
Settle in by the campfire and let the Gunny you tell of the days of high adventure (and low ethics) of Ali Obama and his many thieves (this covers the constantly changing numbers).
Our story unfolds when Ali Obama collects valued campaign donations from ACORN and SOROS after which he decides to play this race card found in the asphalt jungles in Chicago, and magic himself into the presidential race. POOF! He became the rock star of the moochers and guilty white liberals almost overnight. His friend TOTUS spoke highly of him around the nation and the lemmings followed, oh how they followed. One day, after his immaculation in January 2009, Ali Obama overhears his Treasury Secretary, Tim “Baba” Ghietner say "Open, Simsim" and the doors of the treasury vault opened widely. Ali Obama could not contain himself and burst forth from his hiding place, “how in the name of Allah did you do that?”
Baba Ghietner stated, “why, it’s magic. Every day money just grows inside of here, I really don’t know how, and every night, I empty it, using it for whatever I want to!”
Ali exclaimed, “this is fantastic. I can take all of this money and remake things in my own image! We can level every playing field, right every wrong, and create the utopia of utopias! And things were good.
Just a few days later, Ali Obama’s Executive pay Czar, Kenneth “Kassim” Feinberg discovered a new pot of gold coins when he found that he could bypass the Constitution and limit the pay of CEO’s in private industry, thus rerouting the funds back into the company wherein they could be taxed at the highest confiscatory corporate tax rate in the civilized industrial world. “Genius!” Shrilled Ali Obama, “Sheer genius!” Unbeknownst to Ali, some peasants read about this in a paper not aligned with the State and were angered, they spread the word but no one listened. But not to fear for Ali Obama’s Auto Industry czar, Steve “Mustafa” Rattner came to rescue when he discovered that by destroying what was left of three cars companies that had been pillaged for decades by termites from the UAW, he could seize them for Ali Obama and turn them into Obama Motor Car Company which would surely bring them manna from heaven. Or better still, geld from the people for if the people wanted cars, then surely they would buy them from Ali, at Ali’s prices!
It was Bank Bailout Czar Herb "Balash" Allison, who showed a better way to fleece the sheep when he showed Ali Obama the way to own his own banking system. “If you own the money, Open Simsim, Open Schlim Schlim, who cares, this is the better deal.” Ali Obama squealed in delight as the gold coinage flew from his hands into the pockets of his group of thieves at ACORN (to repay them for their help in voter frauding him into office) and into the pocket of the owner of his party, George Soros. They were delighted but in their greed and excitement, they forget the magic words to erase the memories of the peasants who tell the other peasants and the people were angered. “Let them eat arugula,” laughed Ali Obama. The people fumed and marched but were ignored by Ali Obama and his thieves.
“I will save the day,” claimed Climate Change Czar, Todd "Gorean" Stern. “I will tell the people that we work for them to save the Earth while we work to tax them more with Cap and Trade! We’ll sell them, no we’ll demand that they buy our carbon credits for merely exhaling carbon dioxide!”
“Brilliant, “ cried Ali Obama, “simply brilliant. Give yourself a pay raise. Just say "Open Simsim" and that magical treasury vault will dispense you money!” Yet the people’s anger grew as they watched Ali Obama and his group of thieves tramples on the Constitution and force their will on the people, who continued to resist, who continued to march, yet many still could not hear their complaints.
“I am Ali Obama’s champion,” declared Science Czar John "Hashishin" Holdren, who told Ali, “I’m the one who wrote the book on stealing from people my lord, I can steal their lives and turn them into slaves!”
“Ali Obama cried, “tell me of this magic!”
“Why, we can forcibly sterilize those who oppose us! We can prevent them from having children as I described in my book, ‘Ecoscience.’ We can force women to abort their pregnancies if they get out of line! They will be our virtual slaves. We can put infertility drugs into the drinking water or in the food or regions or cities we don’t control! If they want to have children, they have to do what we tell them to do! They have to let US indoctrinate them in the ways of Socialism and Nilhilism! And best of all, since you are now sitting on the UN’s Security Council, you can assume control of the global economy and dictate every detail of their miserable lives by using the UN as an armed international police force! What do you think of my genius my liege?”
Ali Obama sat there stunned, as the full range of his powers to rule over the American people slowly sank into through his fro’. A large grin spread across his face. “I am the Emperor of the World, “ he squealed, “I am The Won!” And people like Brian “BowWow” Williams bowed to him and others got tingly feelings up their legs but the anger of the people went unabated. It grew.
One day, a man stood up and yelled, “YOU LIE!” at a speech Ali Obama was giving and the thieves tried to character assassinate the man to no avail but the anger of the people finally bubbled over and they marched on their nation’s capital. So fierce was their anger that Ali Obama and his thieves fled the capital to give a speech via teleprompter in another region. Now my children, Ali Obama slunk back into the capital after all of the angry peasants left but the damage was done, the peasants, the rabble, the mob he called them, were taking back their government and their was nothing that Ali Obama and his thieves could do about it. Their anger was so fierce that in 2012, they chased him and his thieves out of the country where they settled in Cairo, living with a dhimmi named Carter, (who was also banished from the land as a traitor), bashing America from afar. And the people lived together in freedom and capitalism, enjoying small government, low taxation, and a strong military. Life was indeed good without Ali Obama and his gang of thieves.