Posted by
GunnyG© on Wednesday, July 30, 2008 1:10:37 PM
Washington DC, USA — The United States of America will drop 10 zeros from its hyper-inflated currency, effectively making 10 billion dollars into one dollar, the Federal Reserve Bank said Wednesday. President for Life Barack Hussein Obama threatened a state of emergency if businesses and large corporations continue to profiteer from the country's economic and political unraveling. President for Life Obama stated at a secret press conference, "this is simply profit-taking by greedy capitalists that inflicts suffering on the masses." President for Life Obama did not address the question asked by a reporter about the empty shop shelves and the chronic shortages of everything including medication, food, fuel, power and water. The reporter was removed by President for Life Obama private guard, The Knights of the Nation of Islam, who replaced the Secret Service shortly after President for Life Obama was annoited in January 2009. The Federal Reserve Bank, led by Jimbo Abobo, announced that he was dropping 10 zeros from the currency, effective Friday, July 23, 2014. Minister Abobo had recently introduced a 100 billion-dollar bill but it quickly was not enough to buy a loaf of bread. President for Life Obama quickly went on the television to the only channel available in America, NTYC (New York Times Central), and said, "Criminal capitalists, be warned, don't keep trying to make a profit at the expense of the people. If you drive us even more I will impose emergency measures and nationalize every business in America." Abobo stated that he was also reintroducing coins made from clay, which have been absent for several years.
The Minister of Economics, Minister William Ayers stated that the high rate of inflation was hampering the economy and declared that US inflation was running at 2.2 million percent in America but independent economists in the European Union stated that it is closer to 12.5 million percent. The United Nations decried the situation in America as dire. The UN was forced from the United States when they began to criticize President for Life Obama's Administration as well as his attempt to install his wife Michelle as the Secretary General for Life in 2010. UN analysts in Switzerland declared that eighty percent of the American work force is unemployed and many who do have jobs don't earn enough to pay for bus fare. Over 30% of Americans have become economic and political refugees to Canada and Mexico. The other roughly 60 plus percent is dependent on foreign food aid. However, President for Life Obama recently barred non-governmental organizations from handing out food last month, claiming they were supporting the resistance against him, led by fragments of the US military and other citizens. President for Life Obama has repeatedly blamed profiteering and sanctions by the United Nations and the European Union for America's economic collapse. Global critics have blamed mismanagement by Obama's government and a nationalized land reform program and industrial program that has slashed America's GNP output to the lowest level since 1805.
President for Life Obama and Minister Abobo are targeted by the sanctions, which impose travel bans and asset freezes on more than 170 people in the Obama Administration. President for Life Obama declared yesterday, "This country is under illegal sanctions. These are intended to achieve regime change. We must strengthen our will and resistance so we can go through this time of difficulty. All of our troubles are from outsiders. My administration is working hard for the people of the United States and always will be. You must tighten your belts." President for Life Obama went on television just as Cuba's dictator Raul Castro was jetting in to meet with him about creating a US-Cuba power-union. Castro was greeted by Obama at the former Reagan Airport, now renamed the Saul Aulinsky Airport, on Wednesday. The two shook hands and briefly embraced before leaving together. President for Life Obama has insisted the power-union talks which started last Thursday were going well and had simply adjourned on Monday. But the resistance has posted placards calling on Americans to wake up and resist the continued destruction of America by the socialist administration.
President for Life Obama has called on the resistance leaders to meet with him the one time that several leaders met with him, they failed to return with Obama stating that they were on vacation.
In other US economic news, gasoline was totally unavailable and electricity was again not available for over 80% of the nation. However, San Francisco, Washington DC, Los Angeles, and Minister of Energy Albert Gore's 100,000 square foot mansion had power. Gore stated that with the complete shutting down of all nuclear plants in America, Americans would have to do more with less and make more candles if they needed more light.