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Dean Branches Out

Posted by GunnyG© on Friday, November 17, 2006 7:44:55 AM

HOWARD DEAN IN THE RING!

Burlington, Vermont. -- DNC Chairman Howard Dean signed a five-year 40 million dollar contract today with the Global Wrestling Federation and promised to give his liberal fans plenty of screaming, yelling, viscious taunts, kitten crushings, and robust claims of victory. Not to mention globs of spit flying in every direction. This comes on the heels of James "Gollum" Carville calling Dean a C+ General running the corrupt and bloated Democrats HQ. Dean replied to the criticism with this quip: "Hey Gollum, bring your pointed head in the ring and I'll hammer it flat!"

Dean reminded his fans of his capabilities by posting this infamous photo on his website, under his wrestling name of Doctor Death!
 TAKE THAT YA PUNK! STAY OUT OF THE CAMERA's EYE!

   Dean continued his barrage of insults directed at Carville with this jewel. "Carville, you think you're bad? You're a CHOIR BOY compared to me! A CHOIR BOY! AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH! I pinned Lurch to the mat in the first two minutes of wrestling in the Lincoln Room when Bubba was the Prez! I had Lurch screaming UNCLE and tapping out!"

   Not to be outdone, in a press conference held yesterday (photo below), Carville retorted, "I'm gonna slap you so hard you'll be begging for your sister Hillary to rescue you! When I'm done with you, you'll think you were Vince Foster!"
 "I'll go GOLLUM ON HIS AZZ!"

   Carville further inflamed the grudge when he referred to Howard Dean's manhood as a Vienna Sausage, only smaller. (photo below)
 "I'm telling you it's only this big!"

   Retired Professional Wrestler Jack Hammer stated that Howard Dean will make a first-class wrestler. "He's full of fight, energy, a good head of hair to pull, and he lies as good as Clinton does. Plus, he's well-noted for his cruelty to both man and beast. Just ask his patients...well, those that lived anyway."


I'LL SQUEEZE THE CIDER OUT OF YOUR ADAM's APPLE!

   Howard Dean left the press conference with this to say: "You see this finger? You see this fist Gollum-Carville? I'm gonna ram it into your stomach and rip out your spine! AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!" 

howard dean rant"YOU'RE DOG MEAT CARVILLE!

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